FOOTBALL AND CARTOONS GO HAND IN HAND

As stated in Roby's commentary above, I, too, live in a sports-crazy town. Of course, my local team is the Fighting Illini of the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. Every Saturday during the fall, my fair city becomes awash in orange and blue, especially on dates there is a home game, as the photo above clearly shows. Now while the Illini doesn't win as many championships as, say Ohio State, Michigan, or Penn State, fans in my neck of the woods are just as passionate about the Illini as the people in Miami are about the Dolphins or the (University of Miami) Hurricanes. You could feel the excitement in the air last fall and early winter as the Illini upset then #1 ranked Ohio State and prepared to take on the University of Southern California in the Rose Bowl. In 2005, the Illini basketball team advanced to the national championship game of the Final Four, losing to North Carolina 75-70. We have had some greats come through the University of Illinois, including the legendary Harold "Red" Grange, Dike Eddleman, Dick Butkus, Jim Grabowski, Dave Wilson, and Jack Trudeau, in football and Nick Anderson, Kenny Battle, Kendall Gill, Deon Thomas, and Luther Head in basketball just to name a few. Not to mention the coaches we've had here, including Robert Zuppke and Ray Elliot in football and Harv Schmidt, Lou Henson, Bill Self, and Bruce Webber in basketball. However, our team have had some adversities over the years. Like the "Slush Fund" Scandal of 1967 when it was revealed that some players were, in essence, being paid to play. Then there was a concocted scandal in 1991 over the recruitment of Deon Thomas. Nothing was ever proved, but still, the Illini was busted by the NCAA for "Lack of Institutional Control".  More recently, the Illini was forced to retire the symbol of Chief Illiniwek after some Native American students complained that the tradition and symbol was what they called a "racist mascot". (When the University's Board of Trustees initially refused to retire the Chief, these students ran straight to the NCAA and voiced their complaints concerning the symbol and tradition there. And while we're discussing the Chief, one interesting note---former Decatur, Illinois mayor A. Webber Borchers was one of the first to serve as Chief Illiniwek.) A basketball player (Jamar Smith) was kicked off the team and sentenced to probation for causing an automobile accident during a snowstorm in 2007 while under the influence of alcohol which severely injured a teammate riding in his car. And just today, I heard that a former Illini football player from the early 1990's (Steve Feagin) was arrested in Broward County, Florida, suspected of committing several rapes in both the Fort Lauderdale area, and in Champaign during the 1990's. What I'm getting at here, in a round-about way is that I feel college and professional sports are out of control, and that the USCFL shines as a positive role model for competitive sports.


I believe that competitive sports today is buried in a blizzard of money, drenched in alcohol, stoned on drugs, and pumped up on steroids. On most Division 1 college campuses, the most recognized name isn't the professor who wins a Nobel Prize for his work in molecular biology or his teaching skills in the classroom. It's usually the head football coach or the basketball coach, who is also among the highest paid on campus. The college football player who wins the Heisman Trophy don't win it because of his stats; he wins it due to the hype created by sports writers and fans. Professional sports figures are paid more money IN ONE YEAR than most of us will ever see in a lifetime, if not SEVERAL lifetimes. And yet, once their careers over over, many are penniless within several years. And many players are only one injury away from their career being over. Hardly a month passes without my hearing of a current or former athlete getting in trouble with the law. O.J. Simpson was not an isolated case. Michael Vick of the Atlanta Falcons was busted for staging illegal dog fights. Sean Taylor of the Washington Redskins was shot to death in his own home by an intruder last year. NASCAR drivers often try to put each other into the wall during races, and fight among themselves after the race is over. And fighting isn't limited to that. Fights between players are commonplace in competitive sports. Last year, after the Illini upset Ohio State, players of both teams threw punches at each other following the game. And what about all the Olympic athletes in Beijing who were disqualified for having banned substances in their systems? Not to mention every year, a least a few Tour de France bicyclists also get themselves disqualified for the same reason.

Coaches of sports teams know they must win to retain their jobs. If they don't, they will be fired within three years or less. The St. Louis Rams fired their head coach just four games into the regular season. And with Major League Baseball's regular season now concluded, now comes the annual ritual of house-cleaning; firing managers right and left. So, what do coaches do to try and keep their jobs? In college sports, a few coaches will try to bend the rules, if not engage in outright cheating, especially if they are under the control of boosters and alumni, who wants to see their team win at any cost. Some will accept players of marginal academic backgrounds, pay players, give them cars, apartments, even girls and drugs. They look the other way if some of their players are pumped up on steroids. But I want to stress that the overwhelming majority of coaches are honest people who follow the rules to the letter.

And what about these college players themselves? They are offered full scholarships to some of America's finest institutions of higher learning, only to leave after their junior (or even sophomore!) year of college, simply because they want a nice, fat NFL or NBA paycheck right now. But what if these players get a career-ending injury, or find they can't cut it in the NFL or NBA? Without a college degree to fall back on, these players will be hung out to dry, that's what. And that's sad.

That's the beauty of the United States Cartoon Football League. Players and team awards are based on achievements on the playing field, not on hype. We do not promote beer companies or any other alcoholic beverages in our League. Since we play our games with cartoon characters, which are the role model of children and adults everywhere, we hold ourselves to a higher standard. If this was the real world, we would not pay players salaries in the seven or eight figure range; they get a few tens of thousands of dollars per year. There would be a 401k program to encourage saving for retirement. They would be given free housing, mostly free food and free health care for play related injuries, and a Health Maintenance Organization like plan for non-play related health care. Also in the ideal world that is the USCFL, players would be encouraged to better themselves through education. To this end, the League would offer scholarships, along with tuition assistance and reimbursement. Starters and reserve players contribute equally to the success of our League. In the 29 year history of our League, there has been only one player ever ejected from a game and only two players suspended for misconduct.

When introduced to the concept of this League, I myself thought it was a little over-the-top. But since, I have come not only to embrace it; I actively participate in it. Roby Graham has written a beautiful story called "The Trade", which depicts Daphne Blake being traded from the Hanna-Barbera All-Stars to the Five's a Mob Legends, overcoming adversity along the way to lead her adopted team to the Gold for the Gold Championship in 2005. In that spirit, I  wrote two stories in the "Mice and a Teen Girl" series which depicts Disney newcomer Kim Possible trying to make a name for herself in the shadow of the iconic Disney stars like Mickey and Minnie Mouse, Donald Duck, Goofy, and Pluto. Like Daphne, "Kimmie" and her sidekick and friend Ron Stoppable had to overcome adversity to become stars on their team. All three stories should be required reading.

In closing, I am happy to be associated with this League. Again, let me say that college and professional sports is out of control, and I believe that our League is what competitive sports should be.

Thomas E. Hartman
Savoy (Champaign), Illinois
October, 2008