(Note: The following is a work of fiction, but it parallels closely what's happening in the real world with our League's owner/creator.)
UNITED STATES CARTOON FOOTBALL LEAGUE PRESS STATEMENT
MIAMI, FLORIDA
For Immediate Release
The
United States Cartoon Football League has announced that it is
considering a proposal to "streamline" operations during the 2010
season, including reducing the regular season from the current 18 games
to 14, introduce a "bye" week for all
teams during Week 8, and eliminating the "Wild Card" round of the
playoffs, thus allowing only the divisional champions and the
divisional runners-up to participate in post-season. USCFL Players'
Association president Daphne Blake explained some of the benefits such
a move would accomplish.
"We play a very long season," Ms. Blake began. "Our season lasts almost
six months, from the opening games in Week One, to the Gold for the
Gold Game, and the All-Star game on Labor Day. We go almost as long as
professional golf, NASCAR, and the NBA which also have very long
seasons. Put another way, if the NFL followed our 18-game schedule,
with them starting the weekend after Labor Day, they'd be playing the
Super Bowl towards the end of March, right during the middle of the
NCAA Men's Basketball Tournament!
"Players
have told me that they're totally exhausted after the season, both
physically and mentally. Many of our players have academic and
occupational careers outside the League. They tell me that between
football and their other occupations
like school, mystery-solving, saving-the-world, cheer-leading,
housekeeping, farming, and/or their regular jobs, they have virtually
no time for rest and relaxation. One good friend of mine, a former
crime-fighter who's now attending school told me she's been home a
grand total of SIX WEEKS
in the past two years! Such a pace is unsustainable, and by taking
these steps, it is our hope that we can finally get these players the
off time they so deservingly need. Don't get me wrong here; these
players are tickled pink to be playing in this League, but they need
time to have a life outside of football, and I agree.
"Another comment players have is that they often have to play on major
holidays. To address this issue, we propose that all Holiday Bowls
outside of the regular season be eliminated. Doing so will allow players and staff to spend holidays with family and friends, giving them the time off they so desperately need.
"Travel is a major portion of our expenses," Ms. Blake continues. "For
many private companies, wages and health care make up the largest
expenditure in their budgets. For us, jet fuel for our aircraft and
diesel fuel for our buses are the big expenditures. By cutting out two
travel dates per season, we expect to reduce our travel expenses by a
substantial amount. That is especially important since energy prices
are on the rise again. We also are looking at green alternatives to
reduce our energy demands, such as leasing existing NFL facilities
rather than building new ones, and exploring the use of bio-diesel in
our team buses. "
"I want to stress that players will not have their compensation or
benefits reduced by going to a shortened season. I want to make that
perfectly clear from the start. But to offset the reduced revenue from
cutting two home games from each team's schedule, we are raising
single-game ticket prices by an average of 20%. Even with this
increase, the average price of a ticket to a USCFL game will go from
around the current $25 to about $30, still a bargain compared to most
professional and Division I college sporting events. But, we are
cutting season-ticket prices by an average of 10%, since each team will
have two fewer home games."
Commenting on the post-season, Ms. Blake added, "I have noticed that a
lot of teams with losing regular-season records have been making the
playoffs. Personally, there's nothing inherently
wrong with that, since it's human nature to root for the underdog. But
I believe that teams going into post-season should earn the right to be
there. Therefore, we propose that the number of teams going into
post-season be reduced from the current twelve to eight. In other
words, to make the playoffs, the team must be the divisional champions
or the divisional runners-up. This would eliminate the Wild Card round.
By doing so, we hope to introduce quality competition into our
playoffs, by making sure those who advance into post-season
earned the right to do so."
In closing, Ms. Blake said: "This is a very exciting time for our
League, this being our 30th year in existence and all. But we face
major challenges ahead, and by coming together and making the required
sacrifices and changes, we can overcome these challenges,
and build a even better USCFL. Change and sacrifice isn't easy, but we
must take this course to secure the future of this League. To coin a
phrase, we're looking at 'Quality, not Quantity.' We're at a
crossroads here, and if we take the wrong road, we're all doomed. If we
take the right road, by making these sacrifices and changes, we build a better and more sustainable League. Thank you very much for your attention."